The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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