Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
