Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
She's the barista slut.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
