i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
