remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
