This is not my ceiling
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize
