turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Randomize