he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize