We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Two words: nipple clamps
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