WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
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