please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
