and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
