Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
