How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
