i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
How does it feel to date your dad?
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
