Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Randomize
