I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize