honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
