It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
