Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
My life is pants optional.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
