He disabled his match.com account in front of me
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Randomize
