So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
