Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
