does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Randomize
