4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
