did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
