Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
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