I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
