I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
