Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
