She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
