Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
i out mim tonsoeep
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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