when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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