xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
