bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
