I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
