Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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