i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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