the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
