Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
