It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
