By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
He called his prostate his "boner button".
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
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