WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
