So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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