then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
