Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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