why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
