Pappa wants mamma naked
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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