woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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