Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Randomize
